Hello, Good-bye

Recently, a friend of mine asked about a situation he had some time ago with a woman he cared for. They were just friends and she lived out-of-town (distant). He had gone to visit her, was welcomed in, and they sat and talked. He brought her a birthday card and they shared a coffee, and spoke in a quiet, calm setting for nearly ah hour before he left. They hugged and he said he wanted to take her for dinner on or near her birthday. He also mentioned that if she needed ‘a second-set of hand’ (help with anything around her house) while he was in town to call. He left 10 days later, without a call, for help, dinner or thanks for the card. He asked me what I made of it. He had not heard from her since and was not putting any more energy into the relationship / friendship. He suspected she had another 'man', but felt very hurt by the way it was handled, since they were very good friends previously to this.

I told him that personally, I felt that the woman should have thanked him for the card, effort and the offer for dinner and services. I told him I felt the woman owed him some explanation, but some women were extremely thoughtless and he was better to have realized what was apparently happening, when he did. Something like this could have played out (or acted out) for a while and he could have had his wallet and heart taken advantage of, as well as his feeling. He should just walk away from the situation, just as he had. But knowing him the way I did, he must have been in love with her or feeling strongly that he was sharing this much with me.

He asked if I could look at the situation astrologically. I said I could, provided he had some birthdata and exact time of the ‘meeting’. I had never done any investigation like this, but being a Scorpion Ascendant and Moon in the eighth, the effort was ‘right up my alley’.

I was surprised at the significance in the angles and delineation of the Event to the Natals!

I used his relocated natal chart to where he lived, instead of her place of residence. I did this because; it wasn’t then that he realized there was a problem. It was once he had gotten home and started thinking about the ‘event’ that he realized and did more and more thinking about it.

For the privacy of both individuals, I can not provide birth data here (since I have no way of asking the woman he was involved with for this). Sorry, you will just have to follow along and / or draw a physical ‘picture’ to follow the chart examination.

I started with the Event (E) and her chart. I noticed that the E Vertex formed an EXACT conjunction to her Mars and opposition to her Pluto. I felt that he must have been good enough friends with her to not cause her very possibly volcanic temper to get him hurt (N Mars opposed to Pluto). This happed to be a very karmic situation for her. She must have played some volleyball with her feelings of whether she wanted to stay being friends (Vertex opposed Pluto) to him or be a ‘friend’ to another man (Vertex conjunct Mars). This situation with him was more than a drop-in to her! It was actually an good way to ‘show him’ that she was finished, by playing a polite host, showing him the door (after an hour of talk and coffee), handing him his hat and closing the door on him and the ‘friendship’ in one fell swoop! Her decision may have been made before he pulled out of her driveway!

The E Moon was forming an EXACT quincunx (150-degree angle) to her own Moon and Part of Fortune. Since the quincunx deals with ‘adjustments’ I am sure this woman actually had some reservations and ill-feelings about what happened between him and her, actually, when I saw this. This is because the Moon is all about 'feelings' and the Part of Fortune, this close tot he Moon, would be about all the 'good times they shared together', I am sure. It may not have been ‘cast in stone’ like I had imagined.

I see that the E Jupiter formed a tight (exact) quindecile (say queen’ de chay lee) to her Mercury. The woman is a Gemini, so Mercury is the ruler of her Sun, wherever it is in her chart. Jupiter is ‘freedom, expansion, happiness’. Aiming these at your Sun, from the quindecile angle, provides a ‘focused or determined’ effort to have these in your life, almost ‘at all costs’. I think that the woman felt that not being friends with him would very much, out-weigh any advantages of staying friends with him (another man lurking in the background? I think so, but even without my Scorpionic slant, I still feel that is the case.) 

I had decided that this many exact angles in the examination of the Event to her charts, spelled a not-so-pretty picture, but decidedly so. I wanted to see how the Events formed to his chart now.

Predictably, the Event (E) Venus formed an exact square to his own (N) Neptune. Here we would find ‘sensitivity in love’. Surely some ‘romantic fantasy’ on the part of the man, must have entered into seeing his friend (they lived states away from each other and saw each other once or twice yearly). Here to, this aspect increases the possibility of a tendency toward over ‘impressionability’ on his part. He may have come at a bad time and not asked ‘can I come back at a better time?’ This too would imply weak judgment (just dropping in, despite what he told me about wanting to just leave the birthday card in her mailbox. He said her dog started barking and he didn’t want to look foolish, running away, and waited for her to come to the window or door). This aspect could have been the writing on the wall, because it also infers ‘blind spots’. There may have been telling conversation or looks from her that had spelled out ‘goodbye’ or ‘I won’t be calling you’ and he was 'too blind’ to sense what was happening ‘right in front of his nose’?

Another aspect that plays into the scene, was E Mercury EXACT trine his Moon Node. This aspect increases the likelihood of him feeling a deep urge to contact or communicate with others. Here too is the urge to ‘share ideas and interests’ that he, no doubt, felt that they had.

I am sure my friend felt the effects of the E Moon Node’s 120-degree exact (trine) pull on his own, very masculine, Mars. This increased the probability of his effort to ‘associate’ with others and also brings up ‘sexual ties’. I asked him if he had expected to have sex with her, and he empathetically said, ‘absolutely not…I was just excited about seeing her and being with her…anything like that would have been a bonus…we were just great friends and I loved being around her and helping her’. I believe him because he has a very loving heart...

One of the most ‘crushing’ aspects I found was E Saturn exactly opposed to his N Pluto. I may be a close second to author Jeff Green in how Pluto works (please view the bottom of the index page at my site for articles written on Pluto). When Saturn meets with Pluto there are a bevy issues that can arise, but what I feel happened here to my friend has a very Karmic, yet often unhappy explanation. One explanation I have read is that ‘the earth moves under your feet’ during this transit. Certain areas of your life which you thought were stable and reliable start to change, putting everything in a new light. This can be a bit destabilizing, particularly if you do not enjoy (nor have expected) the challenge of the process of change.

Like me, his Pluto is the ruler of his Ascendant, and the changes may come in your ‘here and now’, the one that surrounds you each and every day, it is all that goes on around you in life, in your 'sandbox'. Since Pluto is the natural ruler of the eighth, here is the answer; ‘For every beginning there is an ending (his relationship with this woman), and in every ending is another beginning’. These endings are never promised to be pain-free. I judged from our talk he was very hurt by what this woman did to him. He had said he felt as if they would always be friends or more. I told him that in the real world, Saturn and Pluto have changed more people’s lives and destroyed more ‘plans’ than just his.

He would just have to recoup and look for positive signs in this ‘real world’…and they would come…new beginnings come every time one door swings shut; another opens. This transit is good for clearing out the old in order to bring in the new, a bit like renovating an old house. Whether or not you want to do it, time wears things out and changes must be made.